Saturday, June 3, 2017

Almost

"Almost relationships are always going in circles. They are always uncertain, timid, and unsure. They are a roller coaster of adrenaline and butterflies. Almost relationships are as passionate as they are scary. And they are always, always going to hurt the hardest.  
The thing about almost relationships is that you never go into them knowing it’s an ‘almost’ or a ‘maybe’ or a question. You go into it expecting more. Wanting more. Craving more. You go into it eager and trusting.  
It’s only until it’s over when you realize that it was never going to be what you truly wanted it to be. He didn’t give me any reason not to fall for him. 
Until he did. 
One day he just slowly cut me off. Me being the naive person that I am figured he was just busy. But slowly, after a few days of being ghosted, everything came crashing down on me. 
And I was the one who had been played.
Turns out, he had been seeing another. Turns out, he lost all his feelings towards me. Why? I will never know. I was shocked. Never in my life had I been so blindsided. Never in my life had I ever been so sure of something, and so sure of someone, to have him drastically prove me wrong.  
I went from feeling like I was on top of the world, to lying in my room crying like a newborn. I had put all of my heart and trust into something that wasn’t even real. I had put all of my strength and my hope into this one person, who didn’t even really give a damn. 
And it hurt. Like hell. 
It hurt more to know that I had trusted him, when he was messing around with someone else behind my back. It hurt more to know that I thought we were on the same page, when we clearly weren’t. 
It hurt more to know that I cared more. I always cared more. " 

Originally appeared on http://tcat.tc/2s65m2J 

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